Você conhece fulano?
by Maria Beatriz Lobo - junho 27th, 2011.Filed under: Assuntos Gerais e Atualidades, Educação em Geral e Ensino Superior, Mundo do Trabalho, Mundo social e político, Relacionamentos e família. Tagged as: como conviver melhor em sociedade, Conhece fulano?, Conhece fulano? Ele é famoso? Etiqueta, cuidado com a gafe, perguntas que não se faz.
Este post tem como objetivo dar um “toque” nas pessoas que, sem qualquer maldade (mas com muita frequência), costumam perguntar a outras pessoas: Você conhece fulano, ou fulana? Em primeiro lugar a pergunta exigiria um esclarecimento, ou pelo menos um adendo: conhecer significa saber quem é ou já ter sido apresentado a esta figura?
Pode parecer uma bobagem, mas durante anos convivi com um amigo que sempre dizia conhecer qualquer que fosse a personalidade citada (passando-se assim por alguém com alta penetração nos melhores e mais seletos círculos das mais diferentes áreas) até que meu marido teve a feliz idéia de perguntar uma vez: e ele te conhece? A resposta negativa veio com a devida explicação – não, eu o vi na TV!!!!
Ou seja, é melhor perguntar se a pessoa já “ouviu” falar de alguém e não se “conhece” alguém (a não ser que o objetivo seja conhecer mesmo!), principalmente se for alguém famoso, pois a resposta tenderá a ser mais confiável.
Outro problema comum é que este tipo de pergunta, geralmente, é sobre uma pessoa que – pelo menos para quem pergunta – faz parte do meio que ela convive, ou da área em que ela atua, ou pode até ser uma referência cultural, artística, política que tem algum significado para ela – e que, por alguma razão, faz com que pense que deveria ser conhecida por todos, mundo afora.
Quando são ícones, cuja premissa de conhecimento óbvio pelo interlocutor é uma forte possibilidade, a pergunta nem caberia. Ex: você conhece George W Bush? Brad Pit? Lula? Nesse caso, conhecer só poderia significar ter estado fisicamente com a celebridade, ou pelo menos deveria levar em conta que você tem uma cultura geral básica e sabe de quem se trata, caso contrário, a pergunta pode até ser ofensiva, mesmo que sem essa intenção.
É verdade que no caso de ser uma pessoa razoavelmente conhecida do público em geral, ou sabidamente pertencente ao seu círculo pessoal restrito, receber este tipo de indagação pode até ajudar a imprimir um caráter mais pessoal à conversa, uma aproximação baseada em coisas em comum com seu interlocutor.
Só que é preciso cuidado, pois é super comum também alguém perguntar sobre uma pessoa específica que ELA conhece ou admira, ou sobre quem estudou ou de quem viu algum trabalho, para alguém que não é deste círculo, que não gosta necessariamente das mesmas coisas e cuja probabilidade de conhecimento é quase nula pois vira uma armadilha para a outra pessoa, pois quem responde negativamente ainda ouvir algum tipo de protesto: como não? Fulano fez tal coisa que é um marco, ou é super famoso na área x!
E a quem foi perguntado, como se sente? Será que acaba passando, sutilmente, mas recorrentemente por alguém ignorante?
Para terminar, vou usar um exemplo de casa: muitas pessoas perguntam ao meu marido (por ter sido reitor da USP com uma longa carreira em cargos de gestão da maior universidade da América do Sul) se ele conhece fulano, ou ciclana. Por razões óbvias, a chance é grande dele responder que não. Como resposta, acaba ouvindo de forma quase indignada: mas é (ou foi) professor (a) da USP! Como você não conhece? Ele (a) diz que te conhece!
E eu, por vezes, acabo me intrometendo para informar, com certo bom humor, que são mais de 5 mil os professores da USP (só na ativa!) e o Reitor é um só, por 4 anos, o que explica o desconhecimento de muitos deles por parte de Roberto e o fato de todos dizerem que o conhecem, mas, invariavelmente, não ajuda a animar a conversa para quem perguntou…�
Por isso, cuidado com essa pergunta, pois pior que ela é só a famosa saia justa: Você se lembra de mim?
julho 6th, 2011 at 11:59
Ótimo o post e também ótima a pergunta do “seu marido” tão direta e típica: “E ele te conhece?” É isso aí!
Beijo grande
julho 6th, 2011 at 13:56
Voê conhece bem Roberto…a pergunta certa na hora certa!
BJ
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